get to the fucking point...

numb, there is no other word. i am indifferent to the numbness...what does that mean?

i am nothing.
i feel nothing.
tired
quiet
brave
scared
deep in a surface kind of way.
impassioned
indifferent
numb, dumb
and drowning in the nothingness.
sad
careful
deliberate
clumsy
graceful like an ugly duckling.

i feel no mercy for myself. why should i? here i am, chance after chance to get it right. squandering opportunities because of fear. speak damn you! speak! otherwise, what the fuck is the point?